After my mom’s passing, my family inherited her cats. Their introduction to our house was not immediate as I was not prepared to bring them back when she passed. My father and step-mother had taken care of Jet and Sparkle many times before so they offered to take them in once again until my boyfriend and I could come for them. We worked as a family to schedule the memorial, my mom even took part in the days before she passed, selecting the officiant (a friend from work) and suitable memorial, a tree planted at the Arboretum where she volunteered for her retirement years. We decided to celebrate her life on what would have been her 74th birthday, April 30th.
My boyfriend and I flew to Iowa the Friday prior to the Tuesday service. We worked diligently to pack up, sort through, sell, toss and donate the contents of 4 storage units. We spent every evening at my parents’ house and did our best to bond with mom’s cats. Jet, the big, black alpha of the two was aloof but accepting of affection and decided she liked Jared right away, settling in on his lap on the night of our arrival. Sparkle, on the other hand, was………..different.
The more striking of the two animals, Sparkle’s coat is confetti calico with white mittens in the front and white stockings in the back. She is fluffy but not long haired and her fur is soft like mink. When she passes by you just want to grab her and stroke her for hours, but that’s the thing about Sparkle, she _hates_ to be held and sometimes even petted. We struggled with this, and her penchant for ‘padding’ on closed doors during the nocturnal hours while we stayed at my dad’s. When the time came to pack up the items we were bringing home Jet and Sparkle were given space just behind our seats.
When we hit Omaha the car was overcome with the smell of urine and we knew the stress of the drive had already been too much for someone. We stopped for the evening in North Platte, finding a very nice, pet-friendly La Quinta to bed for the night. When we had moved our crew and things into the room, we brought the cages into the bathroom, pulled a warm bath and let the cats out. Jet was soaked from tummy to tail.
Oh was she a miserable kitty. As Jet yowled and fought Jared, Sparkle shrank back, terrified that she was next. After much struggle, scrubbing, and water flying around Jared had a clean Jet wrapped in a towel and the door to the bathroom was opened. Sparkle shot through the opening and right under the bed. Jet, now understanding that this whole scary scenario was for her benefit, purred as Jared dried her off and put her, towel and all, down on the second queen bed to rest. The grateful kitty slept with us for the entire night, we didn’t see Sparkle again until feeding time the next morning.
Returning to Colorado we did our best to integrate the two new cats with our existing dog and cat. Jet soon took over as the lead in the house and the secondary position seemed to be a constant fight between our existing cat, Loopy, and Sparkle. Sparkle was definitely the more aggressive of the two. She stalked Loopy and intimidated him at his food bowl. Jet was loving and took to being in our laps right off the bat but Sparkle never seemed too interested in us and actually fought and vocally protested when we would attempt to pet or hold her. This went on for almost two full years.
One day, when I was making the bed, as I had done every morning, Sparkle began padding frantically on the door. When I let her in she was adamant to get on the bed as I was making it, jumping on the covers at any opportunity. This was a new a frustrating behavior, as was the padding in daytime, I was at a loss for what to do. telling her several times to ‘calm down’ and ‘just wait’. She finally became frustrated with me throwing her off the bed and sat quietly on the nightstand. As instructed she only got on the bed after it was made and as I walked to the bed from the closet, laying out my clothes for the day she grabbed and hit at me, even head-butting my hips as I turned from bed to closet.
Only when I stopped what I was doing and sat on the bed to ask her what in the world she was doing did I ‘get’ it. She wanted me to pet her, she actually wanted to interact with me to share space and time, this was AMAZING!! I looked at the clock and decided I had exactly 5 minutes I could spare for this ‘experiment’. at first, I just started petting her and scratching her belly, she _hated_ it. Frustrated, I stopped and just laid down on the bed, looking at her. I said, ‘i don’t know what you want, little girl.’ and I just put my hand out, knowing no other option. That’s when it happened when the final breakthrough was made. Sparkle began to walk back and forth under my palm, using my hand to pet her. After a few passes under my palm, she bumped my hand with her head and began to accept my petting. As I lay there with Sparkle, she started looking into my eyes (a trust bond with most animals) and purring her soft little ‘brrrrrp’ ‘brrrrrrrrp’.
After our five minutes (which probably was closer to 7, by the time Sparkle had had her fill of attention), I ran upstairs to tell my now husband what had just happened! Jared and I both looked at this as a breakthrough and proudly called my parents to tell them what happened. When we got them on the line my step-mother told us that Sparkle had had a similar behavior with her early in the morning, before Judy went to work. Encouraged by this I began to let Sparkle know when I was headed downstairs each morning to make the bed. As time passed she began to hang out after our ‘session’ and wait patiently on the bed for Jared to pet her when he came out of the shower.
Now every morning includes ‘Sparkle’s Ritual’. It is not only something that she enjoys but it also allows we humans to take a break and think about something beyond ourselves for a minute. And Sparkle never lets us forget that it needs to be done! Scientific studies have shown that ‘Just petting a cat and enjoying their company can help calm a person and lower their blood pressure.’ according to Igor Purlantov. So we now have an excuse to live just a little bit healthier every day too.
Through these cats I feel a living connection to my mom, I talk to them when I miss her and believe she may watch over us just a little bit more because they are here with us. We love them both and enjoy the distinct and pronounced personalities they each have. All our animals bring us immense joy and our home would not be complete without their energy and ability to make us smile and relax in a moment. Sparkle has probably taught me the most about accepting other personalities and ways of doing things, that communication can successfully take place without words and a mutually beneficial and beautiful relationship can just ‘happen’. I look at the people I meet and know a bit differently now and it’s all thanks to Sparkle and her little, five-minute ‘ritual’.
Say ‘hi’ to someone you don’t know today, see what happens!! <3 Irish